Frequently, I find myself encountering a word or concept that I had previously never heard of. While this is certainly not unique, I often find that either through sheer luck or coincidence, that same thing presents itself to me in a different way multiple times in near succession. For example, I hear a word I’ve never heard before and then miraculously, I hear it again two or three different times in a way that seems to go beyond the realm of randomness and seems like a downright cosmic effort on the part of the universe to make me learn something. The latest example is teetotalism.

Up until a few months ago, I never even heard of the term before. While I was familiar with the current straight edge movement, it was news to me that there was another, much older brand of it. So, how were my eyes opened?

Well, I happen to be a fan of comedic/magician duo Penn & Teller. I’ve recently gotten into to their Showtime series, Penn & Teller: Bullshit! in which they take on popular myths and causes and debunk them. In my Wikipedia travels, I’ve found out that not only were they avowed atheists and libertarians, they were also teetotalers.

Several weeks ago, I was home and I went to see the Tarantino/Robert Rodriguez homage Grindhouse with some friends. As we waited for the movie to begin I was talking to one of my friends about my fondness for Penn and Teller and I mentioned teetotalism. In Tarantino’s Planet Terror, the main character Stuntman Mike (played by Kurt Russell) tells his soon-to-be victims at the bar that he was a teetotaler. It was one of those moments where my friend and I looked at each and went “Whoa, that was weird.”

So then today in my daily routine of refreshing Drudge Report every two minutes, I find this story about the D.C. Madam. Long story short: She ran an adult entertainment operation, the law caught up with her and now she’s got a list of more than 10,000 names of D.C. bigwigs who would very much like to avoid their activities being made public. Then I see this part:

She got into the escort business in San Diego, she said, because she was “appalled and disgusted” by how “seedy, lazy and incompetent” other escort agencies were, she wrote in court papers. An avowed teetotaler, she said she did not like the drug-related atmosphere in the other agencies.

OK ,universe. I get the point. My curiosity sparked by this coincidence and a sudden inspiration for a blog post led me to a list (warning, Wikipedia alert) of famous teetotalers.

Not surprises: John Ashcroft, Jerry Falwell, Gandhi, Mr. Rogers, Mitt Romney, Osama Bin Laden

Surprises: Mary J. Blige, John Wilkes Booth, Naomi Cambell, Chamillionaire, Eric Clapton, Billy Connolly (Boondock Saints), Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anthony Hopkins, Elton John, Stephen King (you mean he writes like that sober?! Bravo, sir.), Bruce Lee, Pro-wrestler Triple H, Albert Pujols, Vladimir Putin, Karl Rove, Donald Trump, Weird Al Yankovic

Whoa, no way: Jim Carrey, Johnny Chan, Dane Cook, Jim Gaffigan, Samuel L. Jackson, Tobey Maguire, Ewan “I have the high ground” MacGregor, Coldplay’s Chris Martin, Ted Nugent, Sarah Silverman, Gene Simmons, Dee Snider and Bruce Willis.

Assuming most of this list is accurate, then it goes to show that old stereotypes that all the “cool” people indulge in drugs and alcohol aren’t necessarily true anymore.

via Yahoo:

Box of condoms leads to evacuation

ANKENY, Iowa - Several classrooms at Des Moines Area Community College were evacuated after college officials became nervous about a suspicious package.
College officials called police and postal inspectors after the box was delivered Thursday. What they found inside wasn’t a bomb — it was a box containing 500 condoms.
The package was sent to a teacher of a human sexuality class, and was sent by a person who had been a previous speaker at the class, said Rob Denson, the college’s president.

Moral of the story: If you want to mail a box of condoms to somebody, send it to their home address.

It’s been brought to my attention that the applications for Fall 2007 have not been showing up for some people. I have fielded problems from users on Internet Explorer and Safari browsers. As you might’ve noticed, we’re in the process of tweaking the main site so it should be resolved soon.

In the meantime, if you would like the application, do this:

1 ) Get Firefox. You should be using this browser anyway, but the application PDFs do properly show up in it.

2) Right-click the two links below. Select “Save As…”.

• Columnist Application
• Cartoonist Application

3) Come to the information meeting at the IMC building Tuesday night (less than 24 hours from now). It’s going to be on the 4th floor at 8 P.M. I’ll have copies there.

4) Email me at opinions@dailyillini.com and I will send you the files.

In case you were wondering, yes, that is classic clip art up there. Sweet, sweet nostalgia.

That is an actual headline on an AFP story appearing on Yahoo news today.

If reading that doesn’t bother you even just a little bit, then I’m afraid we can’t be friends.

Apparently, a 13-year old girl won (I’m not making this up) the US Text Messaging Championship. I really don’t know where to begin with this one. Am I more upset that such an event actually exists or the fact that the grand prize was 25,000 dollars?

The girl says she texts 8000 times a month. 8000. Again I’m faced with a dilemma: Am I more amazed that her thumbs haven’t fallen off or am I more amazed that she can spell her own name.?

There are so many things wrong with this story, I just can’t stand to go into it any further. But needless to say, my faith in humanity: falling.

You read that correctly. Yes, STAGE weapons. As in real looking but fake. Now, some Yale drama students have been forced to use cartoony replacements because those are ‘obviously’ fake. The Yale Daily News lays it out:

“Red Noses” director Sarah Holdren ’08 said she first heard about the changes in a phone call from a friend as she arrived at the Off-Broadway Theater on Thursday morning. At the theater, technical director Jim Brewczynski told her about the new regulations. The pair then met with [Betty] Trachtenberg (Dean of Student Affairs), who initially wanted no stage weapons to be used in the show, Holdren said, though she later agreed to permit the use of obviously fake weapons.

…

Susie Kemple ’08, an actress in the show, said Trachtenberg’s way of dealing with the Virginia Tech massacre was not beneficial to the students’ own mourning process.

“It is problematic because all of us were incredibly shocked by the events at Virginia Tech,” Kemple said. “We turn to extracurriculars in our grief [and] the Yale administration makes the healing more difficult. None of the shows are about massive gun violence — this show is about showing and explaining the human experience.”

This is ridiculous.

Yale: Let the show go on as it was supposed to.

You’ve probably seen the teaser on the page for the past week saying that the columnist and cartoonist applications will be on the website soon. They are now posted here.

If you’re opinionated and write well, The Daily Illini wants you. The application process is competitive, but hiring will not be based on political persuasion.

The deadline will be Saturday, May 12th. I’ll be in touch with applicants over the summer.

Today, I published a guest column from a nice guy named Nathan Vanhoudnos. After the VT shootings, he’s come up with a great idea to help campus be safer. He’s started a Facebook group and hopes to petition the administration to get a system established where they could send out text messages to thousands of people to warn them of danger like a potential VT situation.

I’m having trouble finding flaws in this idea and he addresses some concerns in the group. Hopefully, the ISS and the administration will get on this because this would be a great system to have.

If you support Nathan’s idea, join the group, write emails to administrators or as always, to opinions@dailyillini.com

We can all sleep easy now since Sanjaya whatever his name is finally got voted off American Idol.  I haven’t watched a single episode all year and I’m still sick of hearing about him. As of this posting, his departure has supplanted the Virginia Tech shooter as the lead on the Drudge Report. And this is even after NBC has released videos the guy made.

Incidentally, this has also given the media its best excuse to use the word “sayonara” in recent memory.  Thumbs up.

According to a press release about two weeks ago, today marks the last day in which merchandise licensees will be able to place orders for products using the Chief Illiniwek logo.

So if you’ve been thinking springing for those Chief Illiniwek commemorative golf tees or wanted to pick up those keychains as stocking stuffers for the grandkids, be sure to go to the store today and see if they’re in stock. If they’re not, you have to place your order by end of business today. Otherwise, it’s off to eBay you go for that $200 bronze statue you’ve had your eye on at IUB for years.

So be sure to pick up your piece of history(or racism I guess, whatever floats your boat) today!

In the April 13 edition of The Daily Illini, a guest column by medical student Raymond Morales appeared. Morales had come forward earlier in the month during an ISS meeting and claimed responsibility for chalking the various KKK messages across campus. Most who saw the images felt a bevy of emotions ranging from fear, disgust, embarrassment and anger or were just downright puzzled. During the past month or so (which happened to correspond to the student elections) a major issue around campus was the use of spray-chalk by candidates. However, the story took on a new dimension with the introduction of the KKK. When all the spray-chalk proved to be immensely difficult to remove, most of campus was left to wonder who did all this. It got worse because the chalk persisted during one of the University’s biggest annual events, the Engineering Open House. Some of it can still be found today.

Unfortunately, not many people pay attention to the comings and goings of ISS. When Mr. Morales revealed himself and explained why he did it, few people heard him. And perhaps, some would rather have it stay that way. However, sometimes it is to everyone’s benefit to hear unpopular (enormously, I’d imagine) opinion. Unpopularity breeds debate and hopefully, debate leads to understanding.

While some will surely find Morales’ message revolting and infuriating, I believe removing the mystique around something as evil as the KKK is necessary for everyone to understand the climate in which one would be compelled to remind us of its existence. And while the argument can certainly be made that Morales’ is digging up old dirt, I do believe that it is healthy to continue the dialog between not only different ethnic groups, but also between the past and the present.

You can certainly disagree with Mr. Morales’ M.O. (I do.) but for better or worse, he got peoples’ attention without resorting to violence or breaking any laws and that’s to his credit.

Our job at The Daily Illini is to inform the campus community as best we can about as much as we can. The Opinions page, despite past controversy, is still one of the best places for the campus to express itself. While I do not personally agree with a fair amount of what I end up running each day, one thing this job teaches me constantly is that dissent is a virtue. This particular situation is no different.

The race debate in America shows no sign of slowing down. If you don’t believe me, Don Imus and the Duke Lacrosse team would like to have a word with you. While these controversies are far away, it is important to remember that there are still important issues to deal with here at home. If the publication of this column sparks a productive dialog during one of the most heated periods this institution has ever seen, then perhaps it will be worth weathering the angry reaction.

So please, send me a letter at opinions@dailyillini.com or leave a comment on this blog or on the column itself and we’ll take it from there.