Ann Coulter, mensch?
Ann Coulter was on tv this week, which I think is news in itself. Who keeps booking her? The only Ann Coulter television appearance I would watch is “Ann Coulter eats a cheeseburger.” She weighs, what, maybe 45 pounds?
Anyway she’s in a bit of trouble for saying this: “That is what Christians consider themselves: perfected Jews. We believe the Old Testament. As you know from the Old Testament, God was constantly getting fed up with humans for not being able to, you know, live up to all the laws.” (See the transcript here.)
In other words, Jews need to be “perfected.” As a lapsed Jew, my initial response was: “Hey Ann, thanks for calling me out! I was trying to keep that on the down-low, you dig?”
Ann is absolutely right - Jews do need to be perfected. In the spirit of encouraging improvement, here is a list of well-known Jews and the things they need to do to perfect themselves:
Barbara Walters: Re-hire Debbie Matenopolous on “The View”
Jerry Seinfeld: Call his mother more often
Henry Kissinger: Learn to speak without German accent
Barbara Boxer: Not be a woman
Adam Sandler: Re-grow foreskin
Don Rickles: Stop insulting everybody so much
Alan Greenspan: Retract horns
Albert Einstein: Rise from dead
David Berkowitz: No longer allow talking dog to make him kill people as “Son of Sam”
Bob Dylan: Enunciate
Steven Spielberg: Convert to Christianity
Ron Jeremy: Bathe
Scott Green: Stop stealing Ronald McDonald House charity cannisters and spending the money on non-Kosher Big Macs
Ann Coulter: Not technically Jewish but needs way more perfecting than any of the people on this list
October 19th, 2007 at 7:41 am
Here’s a hint… the perfection that Ann was talking about is the perfection that comes when we accept the sacrifice for our sins that Jesus carried out on the cross. The Old Testament reveals our sin to us, and the New Testament provides the only way for us to meet the requirements of that law. That’s why Christians can consider themselves perfected Jews. We are made perfect through accepting God’s grace.
October 19th, 2007 at 6:27 pm
Here’s a clue, Adam: Coulter was essentially quoting the excuse for the pogroms and all the “Christian” anti-semitism that’s plagued Jewish people for lo so many years. Jesus, at least insofar as the NT suggests, certainly didn’t attack people for being Jewish, tho’ he did get pretty steamed at money grubbers and Pharisees. Hmm… greedy people. People with holier than thou attitudes. … Wow, that sounds a heck of a lot like our very own Ann Coulter. Funny that.