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The head coaching job at Notre Dame is right up there with manager of the Yankees or Tiger Woods’ caddie: you’re expected to maintain the excellence, help bring in trophys and not blow it. Right now, Charlie Weis is blowing it. The team, as I’m sure everyone is aware because it’s on TV every two minutes, is 1-8 and just lost to Navy. Not only that, the Fighting Irish had great recruiting the last few years and are still losing horribly to mediocre/bad teams. Normally, this isn’t acceptable at Notre Dame, but there’s been no speculation from the University that Weis’ job is in danger.

This will probably open up a can of worms bigger than Charlie Weis himself. I don’t mean to start trouble, I ain’t lookin’ to pick a fight. I’m just wondering one thing: why hasn’t Weis been fired yet (and why won’t he be fired at the end of the year)?

To me there are only three legitimate answers to that question. Let me put aside my hate for Notre Dame, the media’s over exposure of Notre Dame and the BCS’s perennial lust for Notre Dame and attempt to present those answers as logically as possible (on a side note, is it wrong to love Rudy and hate Notre Dame? Discuss).

1) Notre Dame doesn’t want to look stupid.

Charlie Weis was a second choice who was looking to get out Bill Belichick’s shadow more than trying to land the coaching gig. Sure he had “success” early — a 9-3 season capped with a loss in a bowl it didn’t deserve to be in with a team he didn’t even recruit. Notre Dame thought it had found the right man for the job, a diamond in the rough, and gave Weis a huge contract extension worth about $30-40 million over 10 years JUST SEVEN GAMES INTO HIS FIRST SEASON. I don’t care if he wins the National Title, the Noble Prize and the Presidency in his first season, until he’s proven he can perennially sustain a program with his own recruits, you don’t give a guy a deal that big. Now, they’re stuck with this big guy, his big contract and something that feels a lot like pride right now keeping them from terminating his deal. It was dumb to give Weis this contract and if Notre Dame gave him the axe it would be like admitting their moronicness.

2) Notre Dame has no better option.

Consider what Notre Dame has gone through since Lou Holtz left, the team’s last championship coach: at least three losses every year, eight bowl appearances and eight bowl losses, three coaches, four .500 or less seasons and a mediocre 76-54 record. It’s no longer the most attractive job available. Coaches would rather start out at programs where they can build a system without being in the spotlight right away (not on NBC every week and mentioned in every Sports Center segment) or programs that have had more success since 1988 (the Irish’s last championship). The last time Notre Dame fired a coach, they pretty much offered the man they wanted to replace him — Urban Meyer — all the perks you could imagine, and he still ended up in Florida. The head coaching position at Notre Dame is no longer as attractive and the Fighting Irish would be hard pressed to find a big enough name willing to take the job.

3) Notre Dame is racist.

There, I said it.

When Notre Dame fired Ty Willingham, they claimed the following:

“We simply have not made the progress on the field that we need to make. Nor have we been able to create the positive momentum necessary in our efforts to return the Notre Dame program to the elite level of the college football world.”

Athletic director Kevin White made these statements in a news conference. Let’s think now. Has Notre Dame made progress on the field since Weis took over? I think a 1-8 record says no. Has Notre Dame created the positive momentum necessary in its efforts to return Notre Dame to the elite level of the college football world? Notre Dame is more or less the laughing stock of the college football world right now.

Here’s the kicker: “From Sunday through Friday our football program has exceeded all expectations, in every way,” White said. “But on Saturday, we struggled. We’ve been up and down and sideways a little bit.”

This statement could be used to describe Weis’ team as much as any team Notre Dame had under Willingham.

When Willingham was fired, he was in his third year and his Irish were 5-6 and had at least beaten Michigan, Michigan State and Navy. Weis is in his third year, his Irish are 1-8 and he lost to Michigan, Michigan State and Navy. Willingham had a .583 winning percentage when he was fired. Weis has a .588 winning percentage and this awful season isn’t even over yet. Why, then, is Weis still employed?

You could speculate that the expectations for Willingham, a black coach, and Weis, a white coach, are not the same. Willingham loses badly in three years and there is no hope. Weis loses badly in three years and the team is already looking ahead to 2008. If Weis is given an opportunity Willingham was robbed of, then any and all assumptions can be made as to why a white coach was and a black coach wasn’t — a battle I will leave for Jessie Jackson and Rush Limbaugh.

One of these three reasons is why Charlie Weis still has a job after losing to Navy and will most likely remain head coach of Notre Dame for at least another year. I can’t guess which of them Weis, and Notre Dame, is clinging to, but I can guess that Notre Dame can’t afford to look stupid, hopeless and racist for much longer.

The crew at “And I am not lying” has devised a gem.

On behalf of the DI sports gang, this is the best pizza ever, as the headline so eloquently states. On the other hand, we at the DI are not liable for cardiac arrest, heart attack, total nervous system failure, death, or any other side effects of eating this glorious pizza. I might try it myself, and if you do try it, please take pictures and comment. I’m sure we also have a couple of brave staffers who would like to partake (this reporter included).

I’ve always had a place in my heart for Notre Dame football. I’m not really sure why. Ever since my mother sat me down to watch Rudy, I tuned into NBC every Saturday to watch intently over the tenures of Lou Holtz, Bob Davie, the laughably short tenure of George O’Leary, Ty Willingham, and now the supposed offenseive genius Charlie Weis.

You’d think that with the current state of this year’s Fighting Irish football team, I’d be wiping my tears with a Golden Domer blanket and dreaming of better days in South Bend. But this is the greatest point in my Notre Dame hating career and these are tears of pure bliss.

You read that right. I have hated Notre Dame football ever since I learned the rules of football. Because in my opinion, cheering for Notre Dame football is like going to a casino and cheering for the house. Granted, Rudy is a great film that I still watch often, but since the first ND game I’ve watched I have wanted to kick that little leprechaun back on the rainbow he came in on.

Writing these last couple paragraphs has not only helped me vent, but it has also reminded me of why I dislike the Irish from South Bend so much. Here it goes.

First, the school has the most fair-weather and bandwagon fans this side of the Yankees and Red Sox. When Brady Quinn was playing pitch and catch with Jeff Samardzija last year and Charlie Weis got his big money extension, everyone I saw on Green Street and in class was high on the Irish. But after they had their yearly crash down to earth come bowl season and have started 2007 with four losses, a large majority of the Irish faithful who were chirping in my ear last season suddenly claim no Irish fandom at all. But I will admit I do know many good Irish Catholic ND faithful who follow the team no matter what. To my friends in this category, this is not directed to you. But those of you that support the Irish sparingly, please be a real fan and support your team through thick and thin like a real fan.

Second, they are perennially overrated. Granted, most of this is due to their national fan base and the fact that they are God’s team (not touching that one), but the media is also at fault here (I won’t even start on Lou Holtz). Turn on “College Football Today,” or any show having to do with sports, and you will see sound byte after sound byte from Charlie Weis proclaiming that they’re starting from scratch this week or that Jimmy Clausen will help erase the fact the Irish are averaging .8 yards rushing per attempt with a balanced attack. C’mon, we are all sick of seeing it.

But the fact that they receive lofty rankings to start each season that rise with each game — even if other teams are idle (this year was a lone exception) and seem to disappoint come bowl season is no surprise. The reason they haven’t won a bowl game since the 1994 Cotton Bowl is because of the poll voters and media hype for a program that routinely plays all three military academies in a season. Their schedule, with this season’s first eight games as an exception, is always a joke, with appearances from teams such as the aforementioned servicemen, Duke (WOW), and many others.

In 2005 The Irish were given a BCS bid over the Oregon Ducks — a team with a better resume and higher BCS ranking — to play in the Fiesta Bowl against the Ohio State Buckeyes. The Irish were dominated in a 35-20 drubbing from the Buckeyes in a game that was never even remotely close.

Fast forward to 2006. Notre Dame returns nearly all its key players and its “offensive genius” Weis, and his team gets steamrolled by future No. 1 pick Jamarcus Russell. LSU won 41-14, which puts the Irish averaging a whopping 14 points per BCS bowl while allowing 38 per game. Maybe if they played a real schedule and weren’t hyped on every media outlet, they would look better when they play a national TV game not on NBC.

So although Jimmy Clausen will probably blossom into a good quarterback and Notre Dame will most likely return to glory, the Irish haters of the world like me can have their cake and eat it to. Eat it while it lasts.